To All That We Have Lost
by Wittyheroine
Summary: It has become something of a routine for Emma and Hook to share drinks on The Jolly Roger. Captain Swan.


To All That We Have Lost  
DISCLAIMER: I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING  
Summary: It becomes something of a routine for Emma and Hook to share drinks on the Jolly Roger and commiserate over things lost.  
He had watched her sneak off to his cabin around mid day, when the sun was high, and Regina had started in on Gold about him not doing enough to find Henry. He thinks nothing of it. He had told her that she could use it when she wanted to get privacy, although he hadn't expected her to take him up on the offer because he had accompanied it with a flirty, "and I'll keep you warm, if you wish."  
Emma had glared at him. Snow had looked vaguely concerned, and Charming had told him that if he wasn't careful he'd push him overboard. The Crocodile and Regina had only looked bored, although he had noticed The Crocodile glancing suspiciously at Swan.  
But Emma had taken him up on his offer, and though he thought perhaps he shouldn't because Charming was watching, he followed her anyway. Snow was at the helm and the ship would be fine. Somehow, the Princess was the only one that had a sense of direction. And she was the only one that didn't seem to glare at him every time he made a move.  
When he closed the door of his cabin behind him, he found the blond woman rifling through his cupboards. "Damn it!" she exclaimed. "Where the hell is it? It's got to be here somewhere."  
Hook grinned. "If you're looking for me love, I'm right here."  
She turned around and put her hands on her hips. Her eyes stared pointedly at the floor, like a child that had been caught doing something they shouldn't have. "Hook….what are you doing here?"  
"It's my cabin Swan, and don't pretend that you didn't know. You might be able to tell when someone's lying but you're rotten at it."  
"I wasn't!" she insisted crossly.  
He walked slowly to where she was standing. "Then what, pray tell, are you doing here?"  
She started to leave. "Nothing, never mind, its stupid."  
"Swan…"  
She looked back over her shoulder. Every inch of her was tense, like she was waiting to be attacked. "I want a damn drink alright! I'm on a boat stuck with a bunch of fairy tale characters and my parents! And you would need a drink too if you were sharing a tiny ships quarters with your parents and their mortal enemies."  
Hook laughed. It was big and booming and Emma started to walk away again when he did it. He stopped her though by grabbing her arm. She looked at him with a frown. "Let me go, Hook."  
"Terribly sorry love, I didn't mean to laugh. Only if you wanted a drink all you had to do was ask."  
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Really?"  
"Yes, really." He walked to his drink cabinet and pulled out a bottle along with two glasses. He poured one for both of them, then handed Emma hers. She took it and sniffed as if she expected it to be poisoned. Then she drank from it, nearly swallowing it in one gulp.  
She made a face and Hook couldn't help but grin. "You know I do admire a lass that can hold her own liquor."  
"Yeah well, you learn to do it well when you start drinking young and there's a lot you need to forget…"  
He nodded in agreement. For a second, she looked like she was going to say something else. But she just handed the cup back to him. "Thanks," she said gruffly, then left the cabin before he could convince her to stay.  
The second time she slips into the cabin for a drink it's late. She looks like hell. There are signs of sleep deprivation, as though she has been up all night. Her hairs a mess and she's wearing strange clothes, something she told him once were "a t-shirt and boxers". The t-shirt hangs loosely on her and says Boston Red Socks whatever that means. The boxers show off her legs in a way which leaves Hook with dangerous, half-asleep thoughts.  
"What the bloody hell are you doing in here, Swan? Do you have any idea what time it is?"  
She ignores him and heads straight for the liquor cabinet. She grabs the rum, takes a swig, then makes a noise he's not quite sure how to place. He stands up, his night clothes hanging off of him, and he is very, very much aware of the position they're in. If anyone else were to come inside, he's a fucking dead man.  
She is supposed to be grieving over Balefire, her son's father, and the son of The Dark One. He finds he doesn't care. If she wants him, he'll gladly let her have him. He's been trapped on a ship too and as it is once a pirate, always a pirate.  
He stands there and waits patiently for her to explain.  
Emma crosses to his desk where she places the bottle of rum. It takes her a moment, but then she mutters, "I see him die when I sleep."  
He stares at her for a long time because he understands. It was the same way when Milah had first died. Somewhere along the way it had stopped, but largely because his dreams had become overwhelmed with fantasies of killing The Crocodile.  
He pushes the bottle of rum towards her. "Take it," he insists. "It will help you sleep."  
She mumbles a thank you, and then takes the bottle, clutching it in her arms and leaves.  
The third time they share a drink it's because they've been looking at his maps of Neverland. Gold might have had his magic ball, but Hook knew the island better than anyone else. "This will be where they're keeping him," he pointed at it with his hooked hand, "all of the ones they don't use go there."  
"And what about the shadows? What do they do with them?"  
He looked at her apprehensively. "I don't think that you should…"  
"Hook." There is anger in her eyes and he knows that now is not the time to test her. "Tell me what they're going to do to my son, now."  
He sighed. "If he has magic in him, Pan will rip his shadow. Its how he keeps Neverland alive, through the shadows of magical people."  
"Well, that definitely wasn't in the Disney version."  
He raised an eyebrow at her. "You say the strangest things."  
"It's a…" she shook her head. "You know what, never mind. You got any more of that rum? I'm going to need some liquid courage if we're going to be taking on Peter freaking Pan."  
He smiles. "Happy to oblige love." Then he grabs the rum, hesitating when he realizes it's almost his last bottle.  
"What's the problem Hook? Becoming too much of a light weight to keep up with me?" she asked, laughing playfully, and he smiles wider. It is the first time he has heard her sound a little bit relaxed although he strongly suspects that there is more going on inside her then out.  
"I'm a pirate, beautiful. It will take more than a Swan to best me…again, that is." He pulls out the bottle of rum, and when he hands it to her their hands touch briefly. There is something like the heat of a spark that leaves both of them pulling away in surprise.  
Emma stares at him wide eyed. "What the hell was that?"  
"I've no clue," he replies, pretending to act disinterested, then hands the bottle to her again. While she is taking a swig, he stares at his hands. There is a distinct burn mark on his ring finger that had not been there before. He remembers the only other time he had seen something like it, when Cora had tried ripping out Emma's heart. He had heard the myths of true love and magic…but surely not, after all this time…  
They finish the bottle in between talking strategy and ways to save her son. He is reminded that the boy is why they are there, that they have a mission, and that she is healing from loss. There is nothing about the position they're in that would make doing anything a good idea.  
Yet he thinks about her lying next to him, the ridiculous "t-shirt and boxers" on the floor, his hands running all over her soft, smooth skin and breathing in her scent….  
And it is bloody hell, because they are just drinking partners. He is a means to an end, and when she has the boy, they're finished. No more late night conversations in his cabin sorting out their bloody, sodding feelings for the ghosts in their lives.  
Because really, they're nothing to each other, which he realizes the moment she leaves and he is left alone standing in his cabin with nothing but a burnt finger as a reminder of a woman he can't have.  
The fourth time they have a drink together it is a celebratory one. Despite everyone wanting to murder each other, the group has somehow survived, defeated Pan, and saved the boy who is now sleeping soundly in his cabin.  
They have gathered on the deck now that they have reached Storybrooke harbor. Though The Crocodile will never trust him, The Charmings seem to have come around and Regina, he suspects, knows more than the damn wench should. He is not stupid and can see the smug, knowing looks she sends his way whenever he happens to stare at Swan too long.  
His last bottle of rum for the journey is passed around. Everyone takes a sip, and he wanders over to the back of the ship to be alone. It is not long before The Former Evil Queen is at his side. "You're an idiot, Hook," she informs him.  
"Why thank you for that insightful observation, your majesty," he sneers, not wanting her pity.  
The boy was found yes, but along with him came Bae, who was not as dead as they had believed. Somehow he had been saved when he fell through the portal and had later found Neverland. And it had not escaped his notice that the two were cozying up to each other on his deck, sharing serious, profound looks with each other.  
And it was bloody irritating.  
"She wants you, you know," said Regina.  
"And how could you possibly know that?"  
The Queens face hardened for a moment. "Because she looks at you the way I used to for someone that was once my true love…"  
He is both surprised and confused. "Why are you telling me this?"  
"Because even the darkest of souls needs true love, Hook…go on, ask Swan for a drink."  
He raises his eyebrow as he does far too much. "How could you possibly know about that?"  
Regina shrugged. "She talks in her sleep. " She stares at him, as he turns around to stare at Emma, who to his surprise is coming his way.  
He notes that she looks very determined. "Hook!" she calls.  
His lips twitch into a grin. "Yes, love?"  
Emma blinks, startled, and then glances back at Bae for a moment. Hook is ready to rip Regina's heart out with his hook for lying to him, because he starts to wonder if she is simply going to say goodbye.

But then she looks back at him and starts talking. "What you did for Henry…for me…coming back…it means a lot. No one's ever done that for me before and I just…" She is staring at the deck now, hesitant, and Hook is having a hard time not screaming at her to bloody get on with it. Then she looks at him and everything is okay again. "…I wanted to thank you, and I thought we could…get to know each other better, you know, over drinks? At Granny's, maybe? "  
Regina is looking at him with a knowing smirk, and Hook finds himself wishing she would disappear, which she does wisely, leaving the two alone.  
"You may have a drink on me anytime, anywhere you wish, love," he says. Emma smiles, and then the two of them head down the gang plank of the Jolly Roger into Storybrooke. He takes her hand and strokes it, making her smile and laugh, then he kisses it which makes her roll her eyes though the smile does not leave her face.  
When they reach Granny's, Emma orders them a bottle of rum. They share it together, and she explains about Bae or "Neal" as she calls him, and Mulan, the strangest thing to come out of their journey. She talks about her own feelings for him, Hook, although this is a bit harder for her to do and takes a bit longer.  
The two of them only leave when the sky is dark and the drinks are done. They do not go back to The Charmings, but instead the Jolly Roger and it is there they stay wrapped up in each other, drunk not only on rum, but strangely for the both of them, happiness.  
Fin.


End file.
